


Hello, Goodbye

by sunkelles



Series: Femslash February 2016 [10]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Denial, F/F, Femslash, Femslash February, Shitty Writing, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Written in 2012
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-17 08:39:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5861959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarisse deals with Silena's death. Her coping methods leave something to be desired.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello, Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Um, so this is a really old fic that I discovered in my diary. It's dated January 25, 2012.. so it's four years old now. Here is a four year old songfic presented in an almost completely unedited state. I only changed a few spellings, tenses and word choices. Other than that, this is the brainchild of a 14 year old me. 
> 
> Please forgive me for polluting the internet with this.

_Playground school bell rings again_

_Rain clouds come to play again_

 

“ _Has no one told you she's not breathing_?” asked her little brother after she dumped Percy and Annabeth into the lake.

“Of course Silena’s alive,” Clarisse thought, “that was just a dream.”

 

“ _Hello, I am your mind giving you someone to talk to, hello_ ,” she listened to her mind, happy in her delusion.

 

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_

 

Clarisse smiled every time some stupid camper asked her about Silena.

She said, “Silena’s not dead, and if you say that again I’ll shove Maimer up your ass.” That usually shut them up. She hoped that she’d wake up from her nightmare soon, and Silena would be right there next to her underneath the covers. Her nightmare was the worst thing that she could ever imagine, which was how Clarisse knew that it was not real, something this tragic couldn’t be real.

“It’s reality,” a tiny voice echoed in the back of her mind.

 

_Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken_

 

Chris tried to talk to her about it, tried to help her with her slight insanity and constant delusion.

“I know about insanity, Clarisse,” he pleaded, “and I know about delusions. Accept it. She’s dead. You need to move on, for all of us.” Then she punched him in the face and told him, “Don’t try to fix me.” Clarisse wasn’t broken, no matter how many people tried to tell her she was.

 

_Hello, I am the lie living for you so you can hide_

_Don't cry_

 

She knew deep down that she was living a lie. She knew that Silena wasn’t coming back, but she didn’t want to come to terms with it. She hid behind the lie. It was her friend. It was her shield from reality.

 

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

 

Then, she realized it fully. Silena is dead. She is not coming back. She knew that she wasn’t sleeping and that this was the cold, hard truth.

 

_Hello, I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

 

She knew all that remained was a memory. A memory of a girl that she had loved, a girl that she had killed. Her Patroclus had sacrificed herself, and had to live without her. Now Silena is only a fading memory of a tragedy that she should have prevented.

 

**Author's Note:**

> FLASHBACK TO FANDOM IN 2011-2012 WHEN SONGFICS WERE A THING 
> 
> also i had just discovered femslash, haha


End file.
